And so is yours. This is a post about Love—love for life and building reverence in me for my existing and future lineage. It’s a post about how I became passionate about building a shrine for my ancestors and how I know this will deepen my love and will result in an upgrade for divination as a practice.
I’m fascinated these days, and I’m guided
Science already knows so much! Not yet everything, but the gaps between magic and extreme rationality are becoming smaller daily. This itself is a reason for celebration!
The other day, I came across a little but fine book that I will tell you about in another blog. It bridges many bodily functions of ours with mystic and GOD prevalence concerning the sacred secretion, the Christ Oil, or put: waking up trough or bodies. You and I know that everything is connected with everything. It’s not a question mark for us.
It’s nice though, when ancestors whisper to you and point you towards a greater and wider understanding, and science, biology, and cosmology confirm these whispers.
GOD DESIGN; secrets of the Mind, Body and Soul by Kelly-Marie Kerr on Audible or on Amazon/ Kindle
Alchemy and magic
Without a larger understanding, one is still on shaky ground. So, I thank the many researchers who, in this co-creation of life, gift their energy to one specific area or multiple areas I can integrate into myself. They steer my thinking and my feelings! Bravo!
Thanks to them my henches of knowing go to a full-blown KNOWING.
I don’t like to exclude rationality from unraveling this mystery of life and being with sincere alchemy and magic. To be honest, that’s not even wanted or necessary.
Alchemy is an intertwined given.
The shamanic practice of building a shrine for your ancestors
This week of mine is all about my ancestors. I’ve been obsessing over it since I discovered the truth tellings of Shaman Durek. Yay, that man is loud and proud. But also humble and wild at the same time. I kinda love him for it! (big smile)
His words and phrases reminded me of an area I didn’t acknowledge enough. Combine this with conversations with my high-aged parents and kind daughter, and you have the inspiration for this blog.
As I write the words to you, discovering what I’m ready to share as the words appear on my screen, I realize I have to give you a firm context for these conversations.
Don’t worry: It’s just one sentence.
But…that one sentence does hold a world of meaning of its own.
“My child is the child of my mother” is the best way to convey what’s been on my mind.
Find Shaman Durek; Spirit Hacking on Amazon or Audible
Biology
Let’s go to the baseline. Why do I state the heading of my blog in these specific wordings?
Allow me to take you on that journey!
Biology states that a human female is born with all her egg cells. We don’t develop new eggs during our lives.
So, for myself, this means that 88 years ago, the body of my grandmother from my mother’s side, built, so to speak my baseline, because the promise of me was already there, factually existing in my grandmother’s uterus. All her worries, laughs, sentiments, and conditioning were in some form present in this tiny egg in my mother uterus.
The spiriting of my grandmother and all the men and women who came before her are a distinct part of my own being.
What integration is all about
I’ve been talking a lot with my parents these days, sharing more of me than I ever did, had the chance for, or felt the need to. Perhaps it’s because of their coming parting of this life.
I’m feeling ever so grateful for it. The slight pressure of old age gives rise to the gentleness that I remeber from my early childhood. I twinkle and twine with it as I perfume myself with this kindness between us.
This particular heart-opening interaction is symbolically displayed in the middle of a lemniscate, where the distance between us seems absent. I’m convinced it’s this closeness that pushed me towards spirit ancestry, putting greater guidance from already earth-established masters on my path.
Touching each other’s worlds with curiosity
Mind you, we weren’t always a lovey-dovey family.
Heavens, even now, that isn’t the case. We are loud, we are completely emotional, we cry, accuse, shout, make up, forgive, and learn to accept each other.
Each of us has our way of dealing with ‘family’ as a whole, but one thing has changed this last year: we once again became a Tribe.
Not because we hid our feelings from each other for the sake of peace but because we didn’t play down our needs.
What we implemented – what Í implemented was curiosity.
We’re no saints—though my lineage has a firm attachment to religious practices, with even many priests and nuns in it—we still blame each other and pull each other’s strings to open wounds unconsciously.
But that’s okay. Wounds need to breathe.
I am saying that real curiosity—not the fake kind of it in a willed, instated form—made its entrance and freed up acceptance. As if the energy of acceptance had been held hostage before, now it has mounted in our family and ruled this love between its members.
OUR turn
We have conversations about how we perceive this world and even about how we see ‘reality’.
We talk about various subjects: money, God, Creator energy, our youths, pain, the afterlife, whether there is an afterlife or if—as I feel it—everything is simultaneous and holographic.
I remember that one time when I almost tortured my youngsters with that big question mark that had me running in a loop:
‘What was first—if nothing is first—the Matrix that encompasses and steers and therefore builds every biological evolution of tiny particles or the seeds that become of themselves with an endowment of life-light; biology, and if it’s then this magnetic/electric pull that builds the multidimensional Matrix?’
But with my mother, I share soft conversations about divinity, our visions of how we see religion, and what it means to be here on Earth.
BUILDING heaven on earth
Talking about this Matrix, I know now that that doesn’t matter.
What’s more important is that we are the building blocks of creation.
What I feel is the calling of spirits I couldn’t touch upon before.
They aren’t the ones who bow themselves over my big life questions.
But they call me to integrate a larger part of my female embodiment. They call me to feel!
They guide me towards greater intuition and tap into possibilities. They whisper not in commas and zeros but with wind, tears, laughter, and coincidences.
They’ve let me know: they’ve been knocking on my door for a long time now.
It was I who didn’t realize that it was time for that time in my life.
So they tickled my inborn curiosity for deepness and gave me a set of wildly sferic cards to use. You can call it an instrument for talking to ‘ancestors’ spirits on speed dial!
I’ll elaborate more on this subject in a separate post. These cards are so much fun!
Thus, I’ve always had a knack for the elementals, but now I had a task: connecting with the ancestors of my lineage.
So I brought them in!
Find the Guidebook & Deck here.
Or listen to the guidebook on Audible
Check out this blog: how to build a shrine for your ancestors (coming soon).
Looking back in time – the way of the witch – initiations
At first, I thought that my parents were fools for believing in a Christian God; later on in life, I began to understand that they just needed a concept to pour their divine beliefs into.
But I still remember talking to God as a child, and he talked back. He did. Yes, also with words, as in a real conversation in my bed’s stillness under warm blankets. On my most desperate moment as a teen, bullied for some time at school and on the brink of collapse, not wanting to be here anymore, he reassured me that life would become better. I received a cloud of some form of universal comforting emotion, what I now see as universal Love, that made it possible for me to keep going with this life. So I didn’t leave.
I remember my nightly air flights and not being afraid of flying much higher into the skies than the treetops of the little forest in front of our house. It wasn’t the going up that scared me; it was the coming back and a sense that I had to hide or that ‘they’ could catch me. Those ‘they’ were something I regarded as maleficent. I didn’t know more of them than that. I was just afraid of them with an anxiety resembling terror. Who knew? Maybe I just felt the density of this earth-bound life but had no interpretation for it and projected it as such? Feeling deeply the difference between ‘home’ and ‘separation’? Between unity and feeling alone and unsafe?
Or maybe I was just homesick?
Later on in life, I forgot all about these experiences. As do we all, I guess.
In my maturation, I went from a girl who felt the elements, loved the sun, the wind, and water, put her hands in the sand for baking cookies, and swept off her little bicycle to help a caterpillar cross the road—my mom still laughs with that story—to a being embracing atheism and dismissing that kind of divinity.
My first initiation was herbs. Via herbs, I landed in a primitive witches’ coven, where some but not all things were answered. And my goodness, I carried a lot of questions with me. Later, even more initiations came my way—loads of them. I experienced profoundly that all endings are new fractal beginnings.
So I went from a toddler to whom the spirits speak in all their mystic showing and languages, to a little godly child-raised Christian, to a nay-sayer atheist dismissing god and embracing rationality.
The wheels turn forever
Some people have a gift for spinning. Just as a web of the spider touches upon plural positions and moves in all these areas when we bring adversity of touch in one, these people feel the vibrations of (their) existence on multiple levels. And they change by it. Excuse me, yes, we all do. But theirs is a form of natural integration rather than dismissiveness.
I’m one of those. And so are you!
If you are one of my readers who has kept on reading thus far, you ARE ONE OF THE SPINNING TRIBE. There’s no denying it. You intertwine with everything, and you are the one who feels this on multiple levels, even if these levels are hard to express!
Spinning and Integration
First, There was Nature.
I thought there was One God.
Then, I dismissed God.
Benevolent witchcraft showed me how to embrace many spirits and gods.
Until the coven went toxic, I exited, as did that way of thinking.
Spirituality in all its forms became my next pathway. I became a prevalent researcher. My hunger was huge!
And so it came to be that God re-entered my life again in what I now see as the Creator’s energy.
Because there are indeed ‘many gods’, for the sake of this deep conversation, let’s call the one that encompasses all of them without focusing on one particular area: creator energy.
All that is able to give life, bestow one with the spirit of life, the breath of change, and the will of divine singularity in service to the bigger whole, are Gods. We are gods!
I’m talking about influencing and showing someone to the degree of waking up! I’m talking about tapping into oneself and integrating this into the inner and outer world from one’s energy, resulting yet again in remembrance of our fellow human of their own connection with all that is.
And I’m not even talking about giving birth.
When the forces of duality may be, when they are not restricted by force, and when all that life presents us is so inspiring that we take up our task to become a way-shower, to live by doing, we become a god-being by just being.
For we all are the apprentices of the One Creator energy. We are it, and we are a part of it.
So, to pour it in a simple cup: first, you think that witchcraft is everything, then you think by yourself; how have I ever been such a fool?
Discover that in all these mystic teachings, whether religious or otherwise, the truth is hiding in plain sight, waiting patiently to be discovered, just waiting for you to give yourself a spirited initiation process called integration.
We are in the body, the web of Creator energy, and we are creation energy pulling on one particular string of that web, changing the whole web all the time. We, my love, are the Matrix.
We can not escape multidimensional existence, for we are meant to build it. You see, we are FREE. Our task is to undo shimmering illusions.
Seeking deeper Truths…
…is the calling I’m answering here. Bestowed upon me by the seeds of female lineage.
In the belly of my grandmother, and with all the women who came before her, fertilised by the seeds of life of my father, grandfather, and my many ancestors from the male line, I became body.
Within my DNA; all memory. All these emotions be moved around to find new entrees, new possibilities.
Today is the day of worship
Today, I built my altar. I’m capable of listening, not to fellow witches, spiritual seekers, or anybody else.
Today is for those of my lineage that came before me; I listen to them!
May my daughter and son feel this movement of the great spinning wheel. May this alteration of deep magic be felt in their lives.
May my unborn grandchildren’s spirits, waiting to be composed and birthed, gather around this intention and feel the attraction. I’m calling you in my Little Loves. Your grandma is talking to you.
Today my Crone is born. I abide, I hear, I see, I listen, I talk. I love.
I’m initiating myself.
I’ve wheeled it; therefore, so it is. May the spinning go on.
**As I share these last lines with you, dear reader, I get a signal reflected back. One that I recognize as Tears of reverence for the beauty of life overflow me. And I know: home has heard me. Totally humbled in gratitude for the experience, I say to you: we can pierce the veil!
